Wednesday, February 25, 2015

You bought what? Where?

A big box retailer is probably the last place you would think to shop when your loved one passes, but if you are in the market for a case of Doritos, and a camouflage coffin, look no farther. 

Here is a list of things you probably didn't know your favorite stores sell. 

1. Funeral Products at BJ's Wholesale Club 
Next time you are at BJ's wholesale club (I will save my comments on this store's name for another post), you can start your funeral planning. If you don't believe me, just go to and click on the funeral link under the home section.

Not sure which coffin to buy? Just check the reviews...
If you aren't a member at BJ's, don't worry. Costco and Walmart also offer coffins and urns on their websites.

2. Jewelry Worth More Than Your Car at Costco
Even if I was wearing this $93,999.99 pendant, I would be hesitant to tell people where my husband purchased it. I would especially be uneasy about the $50,000 + wedding sets available at this big box retailer. Can these necklaces be bought in bulk?

3. Prepare for the Apocalypse At Sam's Club
Maybe I will just feed my family this anyways. No grocery shopping for a year!

4. Pick Out Your Family Pet at
Overstock has your run of the mill pets like dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, and horses. You can also adopt pigs, rats, chickens, and other animals. I can't really bitch about this service because it is a great resource to connect people with shelter animals that need homes.

5. Say Yes To The Dress at Target
This I can bitch about. Why would you want to order your wedding dress from Target?
I understand that you can save money since they don't offer a dress over $150, but half the fun is being able to try on gowns. Ordering online takes away that experience. The dresses look cheap and have several bad reviews. I guess you get what you pay for.

Tevolio Women's Lace V-Neck Wedding Dress

6. Get Your Gardening Growing with Walmart
I may be wrong but the last time I was at Walmart, the clientele didn't strike me as those in need of a $10,000 greenhouse.

7. Human Souls on eBay
Although eBay prohibits the sale of non physical items, for good reason, these clever and soon to be soulless creatures have found a way to bend the rules. If you win the bid, they will send you a piece of paper to document your purchase of their immortal essence. Souls are not big ticket items, and range in price from $0.99 to $20. 
Not interested in obtaining collateral for the devil? Maybe a fart sealed in a jar is more up your alley...