Monday, November 24, 2014

Gifts You Will Probably NOT Be Getting For Christmas 2014


Christian Louboutin 'Rouge Louboutin - Starlight'  $675
Photo courtesy of

Christian Louboutin's shoes have, and always will be, expensive. The brand has now added outrageously pricey nail lacquers to it's high end repertoire.

You can paint your fingers to match the soles of your shoes with Louboutin's $50 polish, but why? It's not as much fun as battling with the 1,500 two tone Strass crystals glued to this $675 bottle.

And what happens when you run out of polish? Do you chuck the container or hoard the empty packaging?

Oh... did I mention it is gluten free?


Lalique Ocean Crystal Candle $1330

Thankfully it ships for free, because someone who can afford and $1330 candle can't afford five dollars of shipping and handling.

The Ocean scent is supposed to mimic undersea fountains and will bring you euphoria. Sounds like something that is only legal in Utah!

It would be highly disappointing to unwrap my presents and find this as my main gift; unless it does truly bring me euphoria.


The Submarine Sports Car     $2 million
No, this is not a really bad picture... it is actually a submarine sports car. This would be really cool if you had someone willing to spend two million dollars on you

Just in case you are in a high speed underwater car chase, this James Bond inspired vehicle can reach speeds of up to 75 mph. Hopefully your chase ends soon though because the two built in scuba tanks only provide oxygen for one hour.

Don't worry, because this is a zero-emission vehicle.


D. Throne Electric Car   $5995

For that special child in your life; the D. Throne Electric Car.

Made of oak, aluminum and high end Italian leather. This is the gift on every kid under 285 lbs's wish list. For just $5995, it is surprisingly still in stock. 

Imagine seeing your little one speeding along your cobblestone driveway in this unique automobile. Not just that, but it would be the perfect accessory in front of your tree with a giant red bow.


iLuminage Skin Smoothing Laser $595

What comes to mind when first looking at this picture?

Well thankfully it is not what you think.

Nemian Marcus claims, "The Skin Smoothing Laser™ delivers pulses of laser light below the surface of the skin, where wrinkles form. This technology is known to trigger the body's natural response to generate new collagen fibers. Skin's support structure is reinforced from within—significantly reducing wrinkles."

When did this luxury retailer start selling snake oil?

Although FDA approved, I think my $595 would be better spent on Botox rather than on some dildo to wave across my face.


Adriana Lima & Alessandra Ambrosio in this years $2 million fantasy bras
Photo courtesy of

Every year I get excited to see Victoria's Secret's fantasy bra. I don't really know why because I could never afford it, and even if I could, it always looks so uncomfortable.

Technically, this year it is more like lingerie sets than bras. They won't be officially debuted until the December 9th Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in NYC, but I found a sneak peek.

I couldn't imagine wearing this getup under my clothes, or to bed with my husband.

These $2 million bras are adorned with diamonds, sapphires, and over 16,000 rubies.


Leontine Linens Home Trousseau $55,000

This year's Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog was all together disappointing, but sheets? Come on!

If you decide to drop $55,000 on this gift, you will receive "several" phone calls to discuss sheets... yawn!

Once you work out all the details you will receive linens for your master bedroom, queen child's room, twin child's room, queen guest room, master bathroom, queen child's bath, twin children's bath, guest bath, dining room, and powder room. This package also includes twelve cocktail napkins.

In case that didn't sell you, you will be sent a signed copy of the hardcover book, Linens for Every Room and Occasion, and "all items arrive laundered, pressed, and ready for use."


Tequila Ley  $3,500,000

You would have to be a serious connoisseur to be able to appreciate a 3.5 million dollar bottle of tequila.

Not a big seller, actually no one has purchased this yet. Which makes this even more special.

Adorned with 6,400 diamonds, you can't go wrong.

This is the perfect gift for someone trying to stock their home bar.


1993 Hermes Estimate: HK$ 150,000-200,000

Today, on November 24th, you can bid on a collection of fine handbags and accessories that every woman needs in her life. The perfect gift to say, "I love you," other than diamonds and jewels; but Elizabeth Taylors jewelry auction already happened.

All the auction prices are in Hong Kong dollars, so the Hermes bag pictured above for HK$ 150,000 is only 19,338.12 in US dollars. Pocket change for a high end purse. Be sure to buy more than just one of the fine Bottega Veneta, Chanel, Hermes, and Louis Vuitton creations available at Christies.

Couldn't make it to Hong Kong? Don't worry. Starting on November 25th and ending on December 4th, handbags & accessories will be available at Christies online auction.

Photo courtesy of
We saved the best for last.

This is the gift that will set him apart. 
Just wait to see his face when you unveil this 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO. 
At $34.65 million, and with only thirty-six ever made, he will surely be the only one of his friends to have one.

The most collectible and desired Ferrari available, you won't be able to top this gift in the coming years.